Sometimes the best career move is to let yourself get pissed off.

If it's been over a year since they promised you that promotion, let's call it what it is: a lie.

You keep a level head when things at work don’t go your way, but after months, or even years, of patience, what do you do when you still don’t see the progress you’ve earned?

Lawrence, a senior manager I coached, spent eighteen months waiting for the director title his boss always promised would come in "just one more cycle." Meanwhile, two external hires - both less qualified - walked in at his target level.

"He's supportive," he told me, still making excuses for his boss. "He doesn't want to appear to play favorites. The company has a lot going on." After listening to him rationalize away eighteen months of broken promises and what they’d cost him, I said, "Lawrence, you need to get pissed off."

Now, I know my advice might sound crazy to you, too. Anger isn't an emotion you're normally encouraged to bring to work, but continuing to suppress it won’t help you either.
​

Trust what you’re feeling.

This isn't my first time helping someone through being strung along, and I've been there too. You'll notice how bosses who break commitments tend to point to forces beyond their control, blaming circumstances, timing, the market, anything but themselves.

Their behavior is personal, and personal problems require personal solutions.

Pay attention to how tense and depleted you feel underneath your composure. Your body knows what your mind resists, that you're being professionally disrespected.

The anger hit Lawrence once he understood that he'd been enabling someone who lacked the character, competence, or courage to advocate for him. All his energy spent being accommodating left none to advocate for himself.

You have agency. Use it to end this dynamic. The person above you has no incentive to change. You don’t have to wait for them.
​

Put the truth out in the open.

If you're in a situation like Lawrence's, you probably feel trapped between two bad options: to swallow your legitimate frustration or explode and risk the blowback.

Years of being told to “have patience” train you into silence while your boss, comfortably insulated by their position, rarely acknowledges what that costs you.

A third option exists: have the overdue conversation that calls out the pattern. You'll create conditions for mutual accountability that serve everyone, including the (possibly) weak leader who's been failing you.
​

Stop minimizing yourself to preserve someone else’s peace.

For months, Lawrence had been questioning himself, what he'd done wrong, how he could work harder, what he was missing. He began to realize that his performance wasn’t the issue.

He prepared his words. "I've been promised this promotion for eighteen months. In that time, you've hired two external directors while telling me to wait. I need you to explain why my contributions haven’t been enough, and I need a specific timeline for when this will change."

It was deliberate and unapologetic, grounded in irrefutable facts.
​

Here’s how to make your case without backing down.

Let anger guide you. Which boundary got crossed? What promise went unfulfilled? Your resentment points directly to what needs to be addressed.

Questions work better than complaints. Don’t make accusations like, "You never support me." Try, "Please explain your decision-making process to me." Direct questions demand actual answers.

Show your boss what they've been avoiding. They can't fix what they won't acknowledge. Their discomfort with reality matters less than protecting yourself.

Your words are your power. Promotions come and go. Self-respect, once reclaimed, alters how you move through every room.
​

How Lawrence asked for more and found himself.

He had the conversation. His boss deflected, but he held out for concrete commitments.

What struck me most was how Lawrence’s entire presence transformed. The man who used to shrink himself to avoid seeming difficult now walked into rooms expecting to be heard. He changed how he saw himself, and his boss wasn't the only one who started treating him differently.
​

Leaders, take note. This is valuable intel.

If this story makes you uncomfortable, good. Let it teach you something.

When someone approaches you like Lawrence did his boss, resist the urge to get defensive. They're showing you how your leadership is being received, offering you a chance to course-correct before they decide you're not worth the effort.

Ask yourself: What promises might I have made that I haven't followed through on? What might I have been avoiding? Who on my team might have already lost respect for me, while I think everything is fine?

The people who bring you uncomfortable feedback are a gift. Listen to them.
​

Your dignity is worth rocking the boat.

If this is your career situation, what will you do? If you're the person in the leadership role, will you deny what you've read here, rectify your behavior, or continue as is?

Embrace your anger as your ally. Let it guide you to the recognition you deserve.

Sending love and light,

Ginny